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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227506">You Can Expect the Unexpected, But Dear God What is This?!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreTooDeepNow/pseuds/WeAreTooDeepNow'>WeAreTooDeepNow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Can Expect the Unexpected [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>All are welcome, Alternate Ending, At least I can swim, Bad Ideas, Blah blah blah not biologically related, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Do I have to mention the forbidden subject?, Good Ideas, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'd say I'm going to hell but we're well past that point now, If you only read one work by me, If you're reading this you know why you're here, Implied Mpreg, Lmao please read the first fic in this series, M/M, Meet the Family, Oh look there he goes again, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent-Child Relationship, Post Mpreg, Pseudo-Incest, Sanji gets thrown off the boat, Side Story, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Straw Hats become babysitters, The crazier the better, Things are going to get wild, You're gonna be really confused, come get y'all's juice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:28:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227506</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreTooDeepNow/pseuds/WeAreTooDeepNow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There exists a theory that for every choice someone makes there exists a universe parallel to theirs where they made a different choice. The same goes for every action and event. All things are possible, even the slightest probability. This is the bonus collection for my other story, 'You Can Expect the Unexpected: But Not This' - Here timelines are altered, deleted scenes are created, new endings are written, and the coin is flipped. </p><p>Anything can happen.</p><p>(Hold on tight everyone, shit's about to get real wild!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monkey D. Luffy/Portgas D. Ace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Can Expect the Unexpected [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Mine favoritter.</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You Can't Just Babyproof a Pirate Ship! (Part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>You know what time it is! The moment we have been waiting for! After one long week of waiting and promises, all the little hints and teasers, it has finally arrived! You've read my other story. You know why you're here. So without further adieu, I present to you- HA! I'm just kidding! This story needs no introduction!</p><p>LET'S GO!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luffy probably should have known that something was wrong when Jack wasn't with the crowd seeing him off. He and Makino had assumed that Dadan had him at the hut in a kind attempt to not make his leaving harder than it had to be. Of course, Luffy had apparently forgotten who exactly this child was.</p><p>Two pairs of matching dark eyes stared at each other in a silent standoff, the air tense and crackling with energy. There was no sound, no movement for what could've been an hour, but was probably just a couple minutes. Neither one dared to even blink. Then slowly, ever so <em>slowly</em>, a little hand moved, continuing its path to bring a half-eaten apple to an equally small mouth.</p><p>Crunch</p><p>"Jack." The chewing stopped. "Did you climb into my food barrel?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Daddy taking food bayrol on boat."</p><p>Luffy was silent. Still trying to figure out what the heck was happening with his emotions. Finally, he spoke. "You need to stay with Auntie Makino." Wow, it still impressed him that Jack's glare was a perfect copy of Ace's.</p><p>"NO! NO! Daddy leave, Jack come too!"</p><p>"You can't! You're going to get hurt!"</p><p>"Don't care! I come with Daddy! Not be alone!"</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>There was no way in hell he was leaving his child alone. Being alone was the most painful feeling in the world. Yeah, no. He refuses to allow this cycle to repeat itself. His and Ace's father had left their son's behind to go take on the world, and look where that had gotten the older men. Ace hated the father that he'd never gotten to meet, and Luffy <em>still</em> knew next to nothing about his father. He'd managed to drag a little bit about the man out of his grandfather, but the marine had just stated that he was better off-not knowing. (<strong>AN: What the actual fuck, Garp?</strong>) What if he came back to a stranger? What if Jack didn't want anything to do with him when he returned? He wasn't taking that chance. No, he would be the best pirate dad ever!</p><p>Luffy just sighed as he uncrossed his arms. He could never say no to his son. He held out his arms. "Fine, you can stay." There was a loud cheer and his hands were quickly filled with an excited toddler. He let the momentum carry him to the ground, cushioning the blow with his rubber body.</p><p>"DADDY! Daddy! Am I a pirate now?"</p><p>"Shishishishi!" The now captain snickered as he hugged his son closer to his chest. He'd have to use the Den Den Mushi his grandfather had gifted him to tell Makino and Dadan about this new plan. "I guess you are!"</p>
<hr/><p>Roronoa Zoro was having a strange day. When he woke up this morning, he was still tied to a post, starving. It wasn't long before he'd been blackmailed with his own swords by a scrawny guy that could probably destroy a small forest without breaking a sweat. Did he mention that the guy was made of rubber? Now, somehow, within the span of a few hours, he'd found himself on a tiny row boat out at sea. He was also a pirate now, go figure. Zoro had to admit that even after all of that he still thought that the weirdest part of this whole situation was the child staring at him from his position in the other man's lap across from Zoro, which his new captain (oh yeah, he had one of those now) didn't even seem to find abnormal.</p><p>"Oi, Luffy." The pirate reached up and tilted the brim of his straw hat away from his eyes so he could look at the swordsman. "What's with the kid?"</p><p>"Oh, right. I never introduced you two. This is Jack! He's my son."</p><p>"Ah. Okay."</p><p>There was a precious few seconds of silence, broken only by the gentle splash of waves against the hull of the boat.</p><p>"He's your <em>what now?</em>"</p><p>"My son! Say 'Hi' to Zoro, Jack!"</p><p>"Hi! You have lots of swords!"</p><p>"Uh- Hello?" He was so far beyond confused. Zoro looked back at his captain's face, only to see a megawatt smile being aimed at his son(?!). The kid looked up at his father(?!).</p><p>"Is he nakama?"</p><p>"Shishishishi! Yep! Zoro is that swordsman I said I'd find!"</p><p>The kid's eyes went huge. "The Pirate Hunter?"</p><p>"Yeah! That's Zoro! But now he's part of our pirate crew, so he's a pirate too!"</p><p>The child, Jack, looked excited, but then he scrunched up his small face, features twisting in thought. He turned his gaze back to Zoro, looking adorably (but he'll never admit it) frustrated.</p><p>"You are not good at hunting pirates." His new captain tipped over sideways, but kept a strong hold onto his son, laughing his ass off.</p><p>"Oi!"</p>
<hr/><p>Things weren't going so well for Nami today. First, she'd been discovered and chased by a bunch of burly pirates through the abandoned town. Then, she'd almost gotten hit by something falling from the sky, which turned out to be the dumbest kid she'd ever met, but he was strong and she could use him to get into Buggy the Clown's good graces, so at least she had that going for her. Now? Well now she had just burned her hands to save that idiot's life and just doomed herself to death by pirates. Go figure.</p><p>The boy, he said his name was Luffy, not that it mattered, shouted a warning at her, but she couldn't move. There wasn't time. She closed her eyes and prayed that her death wouldn't be too painful. That was when a lot of things happened at once.</p><p>When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Roronoa Zoro, the infamous Pirate Hunter, blocking the fatal blows with two outstretched swords, and one clamped firmly between his teeth. There was also a kid clinging to his back, looking like he was having the time of his life.</p><p>What even was her life anymore?</p><p>That's what she kept asking herself now as she watched the sunset on what could easily be described as the weirdest day she'd ever had. She still barely understood everything that had happened, and she'd lived it. Now she was sailing side by side with a boat belonging to the most peculiar pirate crew she'd ever heard of and she'd given up on gleaning any answers from this mess of a day.</p><p>Well… there was one question that she still wanted to ask. "Okay. Why in the name of Oda do you have a child on a boat that could sink any minute while you're sailing out to become a pirate?!" The rubber man looked up from where he'd been watching something in the water, (a fish maybe?) and turned towards Nami's boat.</p><p>"You're talking about Jack?" Said child, apparently named Jack, was curled up in the green-haired man's lap, both he and the swordsman having headed off to dreamland a while ago. "He's my son."</p><p>Nami could see the resemblance, and it made sense now that she thought about it. You still couldn't blame her for not considering the fact that the two might be related, as she honestly believed that this wannabe pirate captain seemed the type to just accept some random kid onto his crew the moment they said 'adventure'. In her defense, the other two "crewmates" that he'd picked up were a famous bounty hunter with the epithet of 'Pirate Hunter' and her, a thief that stole from pirates… a fact that she's told him. Straight to his face. Yet here they are.</p><p>"You're his biological father?"</p><p>"Bio-what-now?"</p><p>"Like your flesh-and-blood son?"</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"I have a hard time believing that."</p><p>"What?! Why?!"</p><p>"Because that would require someone to have- for you to have- and you're-" The boy just stared at her blankly.</p><p>"Oh for the love of- what poor girl did you knock up?!"</p><p>"What are you talking about?" He looked even more confused than before.</p><p>"I'm talking about that boy's mother! She must have been insane if she agreed to raise a kid with you!"</p><p>"He doesn't have a mother."</p><p>That gave Nami pause. She turned the words over in her mind, realizing what must have happened. "Oh. <em>Oh</em>- I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Why are you sorry?" Honestly, this man…</p><p>"Well I mean- did she- is she…? Never mind. It must be hard being a single parent." She'd give him the benefit of a doubt.</p><p>"But I'm not?"</p><p>"What."</p><p>"Jack has a father."</p><p>"Um, yeah, I know that. You're his father."</p><p>Luffy shook his head. "No, I'm his dad."</p><p>"That's what I just said!"</p><p>"No. Nami said I was Jack's father. I'm his dad, not his father."</p><p>"Oh my god, <em>what is the difference?!</em>"</p><p>"Jack's father is someone else."</p><p>"So he has two dads?"</p><p>"Yep!"</p><p>Nami was about to argue with the boy, clearly he'd never learned biology (he didn't even know the word) when she stopped to think. She knew better than anyone that blood doesn't make the family. Neither her nor her sister had been the biological children of their mother.</p><p>"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were… Umm, well congrats to you and Zoro. You two's son is really cute."</p><p>"What are you talk- Wait a minute, you think- Me and Zoro?" The man shook his head quickly, as if to shake that thought out of his mind forever. "No. Jack's father is Ace."</p><p>"Who the hell is Ace?"</p><p>"My brother."</p><p>She shouldn't have asked. Nope. This conversation was just- no. She couldn't handle it. Nami could feel her brain screaming at her to make this nonsense stop. The navigator glanced over towards the setting sun, seeing that it was almost completely beneath the horizon. "Well would you look at the time! It's gotten so late, and dark it might as well be midnight! I think I'm going to turn in for the night!"</p><p>The orange haired girl quickly turned around and retreated into the tiny cabin aboard her ship, but not before she heard a quiet snicker from the other boat. "Shishishishi! Sweet dreams, Nami!"</p><p>She had a nightmare.</p>
<hr/><p>Usopp's day started normally, and ended far from it. Actually, the peak of the abnormality had begun the moment that one Straw Hat wearing pirate stepped onto the beach of his island. The thing about being a liar was that it was pretty easy to lie to yourself, therefore, he believed wholeheartedly that he didn't almost drop dead the moment that those abyss colored eyes glared straight into his soul.</p><p>"You would fire your weapon at us… WITH A CHILD HERE? YOU ALMOST HIT JACK, WHAT IF YOU HAD? Jack, are you okay?" The shorter man quickly handed the toddler off to the woman with the orange hair, he assumed that she was the child's mother based on the way she cooed at him the moment he was in her arms. "Hold Jack for me. I'M GOING TO KICK THIS MOTHER FLIPPER'S BUTT!"</p><p>The man with the three swords stopped glaring menacingly at the self-proclaimed Captain Usopp, and instead shot an incredulous look at the man beside him. "Did you just censor yourself? You do realize that you are a pirate?" Usopp had to agree with the man, what kind of pirate filters his words?</p><p>"Cursing is not allowed around Jack." The raven's tone was flat but serious, as if he was reciting a rule that he'd been forced to write a hundred times.</p><p>"What? The kid's never heard a bad word before?"</p><p>The child in question looked towards the green-haired man, looking intrigued. "Bad word? I know lot of bad words!" At this the child looked grumpily towards his father. "Daddy won't tell me. What does 'bitch' mean?"</p><p>Silence greeted this statement, as three out of the four adults stared wide-eyed at the toddler, who continued to glare at the man in the straw hat. The poor guy just released a tired sounding sigh. "He knows too many as is."</p><p>"Right. Got it, Captain. No swearing around the flipping kid."</p><p>"Good man, Zoro."</p><p>
  <strong>- One apology &amp; a good meal later -</strong>
</p><p>"And you brought him <em>with you</em>?!" Usopp stared at the pirate captain, who he had learned was named Luffy, <em>and knew his dad</em>, who was now holding his son, Jack. He'd taken him back from the woman, Nami, who as it turns out was most certainly <em>not</em> the boy's mother, as she so painfully informed him with a punch to the skull when he had asked.</p><p>"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"</p><p>Usopp smacked his forehead with his hand. "There are so many things wrong with that statement!" The sharpshooter sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. "Why didn't you leave him with his mother? That would have been safer!"</p><p>Luffy shifted Jack's weight to one arm, resting the boy on his hip. With his now free hand he reached up and scratched at his ear in a casual motion. "He doesn't have a mother." The teen in overalls winced and was just opening his mouth, ready to apologize profusely, when he felt a hand grab onto his right shoulder. He glanced over to see the orange haired girl looking at him with a somber expression.</p><p>"Don't. Don't ask, you do<em> NOT</em> want to know. If you want to remain sane… Just- <em>don't</em>."</p><p>He shut his mouth.</p>
<hr/><p>Sanji was convinced that he was stuck in a nightmare, and it was all thanks to the infuriating existence of the new chore boy. Well, that wasn't entirely true. First, that <em>shitty</em> coward in the obnoxious gold plating had shown up, which, admittedly, had started this whole mess in the first place. He was still blaming Chore Boy for his current situation.</p><p>The younger teen had marched over from where he had been standing while watching the battle between the two swordsmen. "Keep an eye on him for me," and suddenly he'd found his hands full with a few dozen pounds of excited toddler. "I'm going to kick Craige's ass!"</p><p>"It's Krei- wait, who is this kid?"</p><p>The boy didn't even bother looking back at him, just continuing his march towards the gold chrome bastard. "Jack is my son!"</p><p>"Your so- YOU HAVE A SON?"</p><p>The sous chef never did get an answer from the man, who apparently possessed the freakiest power that he had ever seen. The teen could also get shot through by spiked bullets and not even pause. And punch through a spiked cape just to make a point. And survive getting blown up at point blank range. The child, his name was Jacques or something, cheered at every major hit that bruised or spilt blood. Sanji was more than a little concerned. "Go Daddy!"</p><p>"YOSH!"</p><p>He was still reeling from the sheer audacity and determination the younger man had. Even now as he swam to the seafloor to save said man, who apparently couldn't swim?! What pirate can't swim? A fact that his mentor, Zeff, just happened to mention, still bouncing the kid that his charge had passed off to him before throwing himself into the fight.</p><p>'Maybe my dream isn't so far away after all.'</p><p>It was only after they'd saved the lovely Nami-san from that horrid shark, that he found out the terrible truth. He'd thought it was a very poor idea of a joke, but he'd quickly come to realize three things since joining this fledgling crew.</p><p>One: His new captain was a moron with a black hole for a stomach.</p><p>Two: 95% of the time that food went missing, he should accuse said moron first. (In the other 5% of cases his son was the culprit, and neither he nor the rubber idiot could figure out how he did it.)</p><p>Three: Luffy was a <em>shitty liar.</em></p><p>Despite knowing this last fact as being gospel at this point, he kept waiting for the others to reveal that this was all just some dumb prank they were pulling on the new guy. Because seriously? "You're really telling me? That you gave birth? To your son?"</p><p>"Yep."</p><p>"But how does that- no. That's not possible!"</p><p>"Mmm." The rubber man looked way too amused.</p><p>"Fine! Let's say I believe that! How the heck did you even get pregnant."</p><p>Luffy looked at the chef, concerned. "Does Sanji not know what sex is?"</p><p>The blond's face flushed horribly, almost matching the other man's vest. His half-finished cigarette falling to the floor. "I- you- wha-?! Of cou- of course I know what- <em>yes I know what sex is</em>!" He reached into his vest, needing another smoke to calm himself. This conversation is beyond stupid.</p><p>"Then why is Sanji asking how babies are made?" The former sous chef grumbled angrily as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth, flicking the lever of his lighter to get the damn thing to catch fire.</p><p>"Because that requires making love! You know, 'when a man and a woman love each other very much-'"</p><p>The younger teen smirked. "Or two men."</p><p>The cook froze. He stared at the captain, a growing look of terror and realization creeping onto his face. He didn't even notice when the cigarette in his mouth was set ablaze from the continuous exposure to the small flame. When his brain finally came back online, he gasped in horror, forgetting about the small death stick between his teeth. He quickly doubled over, hacking up his lungs as he tried to get rid of the huge amount of smoke that had entered them so quickly and uncontrollably. He heard a panicked yelp from in front of him.</p><p>"Guys! HELP! Sanji's dying!"</p><p>So yeah, Sanji was most definitely not okay. He was stuck in some horrible dream, but he did his best to ignore the discomfort and just focus on getting used to his new home and… family? You didn't march into battle to defeat a friend's tormentor and just walk out the same. No, at some point in time he'd placed his absolute trust in this crew, who would help him reach his dream. He shouldn't feel so on edge all the time. He was fine. He could relax. Everything is oka- "That looks great, Sanji!"</p><p>He jerked away from the direction that the boyish voice had come from, fumbling with the spoon he'd just been using to stir with and almost knocking the pot off the stove. Luckily, the contents were saved from their awful fate thanks to his swift reaction time that he'd perfected in his many years working in a kitchen. Now all he had to do was play it smooth, pretend like none of this ever hap-</p><p>"Why does Sanji freak out when I'm near him?"</p><p>Before the blond could even try to explain himself, the beautiful Miss Nami let out an adorable sounding snort. "He's just scared that you might try flirting with him."</p><p>The captain quickly stepped away from the stove, his face scrunching up and looking absolutely appalled at the idea. "Ew! Why would I <em>flirt</em> with <em>Sanji</em>?! That's disgusting!"</p><p>The chef let out an indignant squawk. "Excuse me?! Wait- why do you sound so grossed out?"</p><p>Zoro was near the entrance to the galley, where he'd been leaning against the wall. The normally stoic man was practically folding over in two, clutching his stomach as he laughed his ass off, cackling at the cook's expense. "What's wrong, Ero-cook? Upset that neither women nor men want you?"</p><p>Within a second he'd crossed the room, and was swinging his leg towards the cackling brute. "Shut it, you shitty swordsman!" Before the hit could connect, Sanji found himself airborne, crashing through the door and flying out onto the deck where he rolled to a stop, staring up at the sky in a daze. He looked to the side, watching as a stretched out fist snapped back to where a pissed-off rubber man was standing in the doorway. "Watch your language!"</p><p>The poor chef's fate was sealed by the toddler that was yanking on Usopp's pant leg, trying to get his attention. When the sniper finally looked down at him the boy asked him a curious question. "What does shitty mean?"</p><p>"DAMMIT SANJI!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. You Can't Just Babyproof a Pirate Ship! (2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jack's existence continues to be a headache for everyone... well... almost everyone.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woot! It's been a long time since this was updated, but now that we've hit the climax in the main story I feel that I can start updating this more frequently! I'm pretty happy with this chapter, I think it's pretty funny at least.</p><p>Ah, I've wasted enough time talking. Let's go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was just not 'White Chase' Smoker's day. From subordinates taking too long, to his missing second-in-command, and now this. <em>Monkey D. Luffy, </em>the latest and 'greatest' pirate here in the East Blue, was on his island, wreaking havoc, and the worst part? He'd slipped right under his nose! When the captain had been approached by some young, dumb-looking guy with a kid riding on his shoulders, he'd assumed the man was just another lost tourist here with his family. So annoying. Of course, it was only after he'd let the man go and directed him to the execution platform that he found out who exactly he'd just been tricked by.</p><p>At least there were some other pirates that were going to do his job for him.</p><p>Never mind. The pirate <em>somehow</em> was saved from certain death by a bolt of lightning which he managed to survive after a direct hit and a collapsing platform looking no worse for wear. (Furthermore, despite knowing that he was going to die, the brat had still smiled just like <em>him</em>-)</p><p>And now his capture of the rookie had been stopped by none other than <em>The Revolutionary Dragon.</em></p><p>Yeah, this wasn't exactly a good day for the marine captain.</p><p>'How can one man be so lucky?!'</p><p>It was then that a sudden and terrible gust of wind crashed into them, throwing everything into chaos. He heard a high-pitched and scared scream, "Daddy!" He had to wait a few seconds to spin around but once he did he mentally cursed his bad luck. When did Straw Hat grab that child? Why did the pirate even have that child?! Was he kidnapping the kid? No… the boy had called Straw Hat… 'Hold on, did he say <em>Daddy?</em> But that would mean… what kind of irresponsible dumbass brings a child on a pirate ship?!'</p><p>He was thrown around by the wind, but for a split second, he caught sight of the hooded figure's face from where the man stood strong against the wind. Why did he look so shocked?! Wasn't this whole storm his doing? The man looked like the perfect mixture of startled and horrified.</p><p>'What the hell could scare the most wanted man in the world that badly?'</p><hr/><p>Sabo found himself feeling very concerned when he and Koala had entered Dragon's office that morning. His leader had just returned from a trip to the East Blue in the early hours of twilight, and he'd been eager to report all that had happened in the man's absence. However, it seemed that his status report would have to wait.</p><p>He'd never seen his boss look so thoroughly disturbed before, and he'd seen the man in question listen to the most heinous of crimes against fellow human beings with a straight yet indignant expression. Something absolutely terrible must have happened for such a stoic man to appear so unsettled. Had those Celestial Dicks opened up a new auction house? Had an undercover operation failed? Had they been discovered? Was the World Government on their way here right now?!</p><p>"Sir, what's wrong? Are we under attack?!"</p><p>"No, nothing like that." Well, that was a relief. But if it wasn't the worst-case scenario, then what the hell could possibly warrant such upset for the leader of the Revolutionaries? The man continued before he could even voice his question. "I'm a grandfather."</p><p>"What?" Surely, he had heard wrong.</p><p>"I have a grandson. I only just found out."</p><p>Okay, apparently not. Koala shot him a look that showed that she was completely bewildered. He just responded with a confused shrug. He was just as clueless as she was, he hadn't even known that the other man was a father in the first place! His partner just shook her head as if to clear it and turned back to their leader. "Well, uhhh, congratulations sir?" All she received was a jerky nod of acknowledgment, the man still too lost for words it seems.</p><p>He will never understand what the hell his boss is thinking. "Why do you seem so…" He couldn't think of the right word for it.</p><p>Dragon just gave a pained and world-weary sigh as he slumped further back into his chair. "It's not every day that you see your son for the first time in almost 20 years only to find out that he's had a child."</p><p>"Oh." Yes, he supposes that would be quite a bit of a shock. "You've uhh- never mentioned a son before."</p><p>"Ah. Yes, his name is Luffy." Sabo felt his head twinge in pain for a brief second. That was odd… "I had gone to Loguetown to see him off before he entered the Grand Line. He's a pirate."</p><p>Koala blinked several times, before she placed a hand against her chin, lightly rubbing it in thought. "Wait. Pirate, Luffy, Loguetown… you wouldn't happen to be talking about 'Straw Hat' Luffy, that new rookie who's been dominating the East Blue lately?"</p><p>Oh yeah, he'd heard about some new pirate crew who had recently appeared in the supposedly 'weakest sea' and had swiftly proceeded to wipe the floor with some of the resident powerhouses in that area. (Though he couldn't figure out why he felt so… <em>amused</em> by the pirate's epithet? It seemed perfect for some reason, like he'd almost expected it.)</p><p>Dragon reached under his desk for a second before he pulled out a wanted poster from one of the drawers. "That would be my son, yes." The Revolutionary Leader held out the paper and Sabo took it with all the ease of someone who had been handed reports for over a decade. Curious, he scanned over the information. Well. That was certainly a <em>unique</em> picture, though it felt weird to look at it… kind of made him dizzy for some reason. Moving on to the words under the picture, he mouthed the name listed on the poster: <em>MONKEY D. LUFFY. </em>Made sense, but why was the name so familiar? And he wasn't talking about the family name either. The whole thing just seemed to slide perfectly off the tongue, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Come to think of it, he returned his gaze to the photo, why did he <em>know</em> that the pirate would look like that?</p><p>Ugh… his head hurt.</p><p>It hurt really, really… really… <em>bad…ly…</em></p><p>
  <strong>-One long overdue mental health break later-</strong>
</p><p>When Sabo woke up the first thought that came from his thoroughly dazed mind was 'Holy shit, I have brothers. Luffy, my baby brother! And Ace!' His second thought was accompanied by an absolute tidal wave of guilt. 'How could I have forgotten?' Finally, a third thought occurred to him. 'Wait, what had happened? The last thing I remember was…' He gasped suddenly, nearly choking on the swimming pool's worth of air that he had inhaled in a femtosecond. "THE WANTED POSTER!"</p><p>He'd quickly thrown himself out of the bed, frantically searching for the critical piece of evidence that had brought his past crashing back to him with all the elegance of a headless chicken performing ballet. It was during this desperate quest that Koala walked into the room.</p><p>"Sabo! You're awake! Thank Oda, we were so worried! You just suddenly collapsed and- <em>what are you doing out of bed?</em>" Normally her use of that specific tone would frighten him, but not now. He didn't have time for one of her scolding lectures! "You need to lie back down! You've been completely out of it with a fever for three days!"</p><p>"No, I'm fine! I don't need sleep, I need-" He crouched down to look beneath the bed. "Ugh! Where is it?!"</p><p>"Where is what?"</p><p>"The bounty poster! I need it!"</p><p>"We put it in your coat pocket, why are you-" He didn't waste a second as he dove over the bed, scrambling across the room before yanking his jacket off the rack, sending it and the rest of the clothing hung on it crashing to the floor. "SABO! What the hell?!"</p><p>He ignores the sound of his friend's rapidly depleting patience in favor of letting out a triumphant shout when he successfully pulled out the sheet of paper. He unfolded it as quickly as he could while still trying to be gentle, he didn't want to rip it after all- before he finally was able to see the entire page, his gaze intense as he greedily devoured its contents. Sabo examined the picture first.</p><p>Same brighter-than-the-sun and wider than humanly possible grin. Same scar under his left eye. Same messy black hair. The boy's face hadn't changed all that much either, yet there was a certain sharpness and definition to his features that had no doubt emerged when he lost the soft baby fat that had been present in his childhood. Still, he had no doubt that the skin there was as smooth and bouncy as ever. Luffy had grown so much! He was a <em>man </em>now- seventeen years old, he could hardly believe it! And he was a <em>pirate!</em> He had a crew, a ship, a flag, and even an impressive starting bounty to boot! His little brother was out there chasing his dream!</p><p>"Sabo? Sabo! SABO!" He felt a pair of hands grab him by the shoulders and shake him roughly. "Why are you crying?!"</p><p>He reached up with a shaking hand and felt the wetness on his cheeks. Huh, he hadn't even noticed. Not that he cared, dignity didn't matter, Luffy was out there kicking ass! "I'm just..." He wiped his eyes; he couldn't get the valuable piece of paper wet now! "I'm so <em>proud of him!"</em></p><p>"Proud of- you're not making any sense, Sabo. It's just Dragon's son? Sure, he's been doing some impressive things for a newbie but-"</p><p>He had completely forgotten! Holy shit, that's right. Wow, he's been working with his brother's dad for <em>years </em>now and he never even knew! Hell, the man had practically been his father this whole time, (lord knows he's an improvement from his biological sire). It was actually pretty hilarious! What are the chances? He couldn't help but laugh as he imagined the look on Dragon's face when he tells him that he practically adopted his son's stepbrother unknowingly and-</p><p>Wait a minute. <em>Son…</em></p><p><em>Hold on! </em>Didn't Dragon say that his son had a child? And if Luffy is Dragon's son, and Sabo is Luffy's brother, then that means-</p><p>"!"</p><p>'<em>What the hell is going on?!'</em> Koala could only watch in mounting confusion and worry as Sabo dropped to his knees, crying even more vigorously than before. The man didn't even notice. How could he even think about anything else at the moment!? He continued to sob heavily, unable to contain his absolute joy. Finally, he looked up at his partner, tears pouring down his face and grinning so hard that it was starting to hurt. He just gave a watery laugh as he clutched the wanted poster to his chest.</p><p>"I'm an Uncle!"</p><hr/><p>Last night, Princess Nefitari Vivi of Alabasta had felt like her world was falling apart all around her. Princess Nefitari Vivi of Alabasta felt like her world was falling apart all around her. They'd been tricked by the pirates they were supposed to be tricking before her cover had been blown wide open by the unexpected arrival of the Mr. 5 pair. T<em>hen</em> she'd been saved by those pirates, almost bribed an inconsiderable amount of beri, and Igaram had died in a ship explosion that had been meant for her. <em>Now,</em> she was relying on the very same pirates she'd been trying to kill earlier to get her back to her country in time to stop a civil war (that had been orchestrated by a Warlord who was supported by the World Government itself no less,) that would destroy thousands of her people's lives.</p><p>She had never been more scared in her entire life.</p><p>And yet, she could feel it deep inside of herself; these pirates were her best hope at getting back in time. With their assistance, she had a real shot at stopping the war before it even began!</p><p>Even if these pirates were really, really, <em>really</em> weird.</p><p>Yes, she knew that they were all pretty crazy. Yes, she'd been undercover in a bounty hunting organization that specifically captured and dealt with pirates. Yes, she had enough of her fair share of experiences with said pirates. That didn't matter. <em>Somehow</em> these pirates took the whole crazy cake.</p><p>At least the kid was cute.</p><p>Oh yeah, it turns out that the little boy that had been with them, Jack, was the son of this particular crew's captain; 'Straw Hat' Luffy.</p><p>She had been shocked in the middle of their fight against the green-haired swordsmen when one of the walls in the nearby building was punched through, sending several of the boards, rocks, and other bits of debris flying straight towards them. Some pieces even collided with some of her fellow agents, knocking them out. Vivi could tell that the swordsman was just as surprised as they were.</p><p>A figure emerged from the hole they just created; their face shadowed underneath the brim of the straw hat they were wearing. The person tilted their head slightly, throwing half of their features into the harsh light, revealing a single narrowed eye that was glaring at them and a very sharp scowl. Vivi became incredibly confused and frightened when she saw the man they had been fighting tense up, a look of fear crossing his expression. 'Aren't they crewmates? Why is he so terrified?!' She didn't even have time to process what this could possibly mean before the newcomer spoke in an angry mix between a shout and a whisper.</p><p>"Keep the noise down! You'll wake up Jack!"</p><p>Had… had they just been… scolded? Literally? No matter how amusing that idea might be, Vivi couldn't even laugh. She actually felt… bad? It felt like she was about to be sent to time out by one of her caretakers, the male had channeled the 'disappointed parent voice' so well. She didn't even blame some of the other agents as they agreed, sounding thoroughly chastised. Even the swordsman muttered an apology, only relaxing once he received a nod of acceptance from the other man. He just huffed as he returned his glare towards the agents, his expression switching to one of confusion.</p><p>It was safe to say that things had gone quite insane from that point on. The action just didn't seem to end! Well, that is until Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine showed up. Their entrance had been both dramatic and terrifying, and she'd worried about the fight to come. As it would turn out, the only one who had anything to worry about had been Mr. 5 himself. The reason? Well, his power wasn't exactly <em>quiet.</em> After a few minutes of fighting and a handful of explosions, the battle had paused, interrupted by a quiet voice that sounded both sleepy and whiny at the same time. Anyone who has ever been so rudely awoken by someone else being too loud would be familiar with the tone.</p><p>"Daddy? Wha' happenen?"</p><p>Those who had frozen turned as one to see a small child standing at the brand-new opening in the wall, blearily rubbing his eyes. An irritated groan came from the straw hat-wearing captain, who turned around and leveled the bomb man with an icy glare. "Look at what you did!" Scarcely a second later, a fist collided with Mr. 5, knocking him into a building which was followed by a muffled explosion before the roof partially caved in.</p><p>With a satisfied huff, the rubber man turned again and made his way over to where the kid was standing, scooping him up and resting him on his hip. He smiled easily at the younger raven. "Hey there buddy. Did we wake you?"</p><p>The boy yawned widely, his eyes trying to flutter shut again. "Heard loud noises."</p><p>"Yeah, sorry about that. We were just fighting the bad guys."</p><p>"Bad guys?" Poor thing could barely keep his head up.</p><p>"Mhm. They were being very mean."</p><p>"That's not nice."</p><p>"Nope." The young man reached up with his free hand and ruffled the child's hair, getting a small hum of contentment from the boy. "Let's go back to sleep. Then we can go on an adventure in the morning!" The small boy gave a sleepy but happy cheer. The captain then looked away from the kid that he was holding, his relaxed smile slipping into an intense and serious expression. In a voice that only a seasoned war general and parents could pull off, he gave his first mate an order. "Zoro, take care of this."</p><p>The green-haired man readied his swords once more, getting into an attacking stance. "Aye, Captain!"</p><p>The shorter man nodded in approval. Without another word, the raven-haired male stepped back through the hole he'd created earlier. Before the two disappeared completely, however, the young boy had raised his head to look over the captain's shoulder and gave a small wave.</p><p>"G'night, Uncle Zoro!"</p><p>"Night, Jack." Even with the sword clenched between his teeth, the man's grin was obvious. He didn't stop smiling for the entirety of the one-sided beatdown.</p><p>It was only after they had safely escaped from Whiskey Peak that Vivi learned something incredible! Not only did the captain have a son (that he brought with him on his pirate journey, not exactly the best decision in her own opinion, but they'd been doing okay so far, she supposed), but the captain- 'Straw Hat' Luffy was, in fact, the biological <em>mother</em> of the boy, that is to say, the one who carried and birthed the child. (She would quickly learn that while such a title was revered by male carriers in her country, the only time you should ever mention that little technicality around the captain would be if you wanted to be launched straight into the ocean.)</p><p>The gods must have been on her side, as they sent one of their blessed to ferry her back home. In Alabasta, there were a few instances of such a miracle occurring, and in each instance, both the male carrier and his child had become important people in their history. It was considered a sacred gift from the heavens themselves! The presence of both mot- er- <em>father</em> and child as part of the group giving her aid was surely a divine gift of support!</p><p>She would quickly come to realize that the gods had <em>nothing</em> to do with Monkey D. Luffy.</p><hr/><p>Ace had been minding his own business, trying to find his little brother, when something slammed into him with the force of a rampaging bear. The only reason he'd been able to catch his balance and remain standing was due to his <em>many</em> years of being used for target practice by a rocketing rubber man. Though this was certainly no man.</p><p>"PAPA!"</p><p>The logia user just stared down at his 'attacker', blinking in bewilderment at the sight of an energetic toddler hugging his legs in a death grip. As he watched, the boy lifted his head to look at him before he gave him a blinding smile. He unconsciously returned the grin. The kid giggled in delight before once again tightening the hold he had on the commander's legs. "Hi!"</p><p>He blinked.</p><p>"Hey there." The boy only smiled wider, a feat that Ace knew only a few people were capable of. "What are you- who-"</p><p>"Jack!" A woman with orange hair came rushing up to them. She looked, in a word, <em>pissed</em>. "What did we tell you about wandering off!? You scared us half to death!" The redhead took a calming breath before she yelled over her shoulder. "I found Jack! He's okay!" Some responding shouts came from a few different people who started making their way towards where the trio was standing.</p><p>When the woman turned back towards him, she had an apologetic look on her face. "I am so sorry sir! We've told him not to bother people a thousand times. He's too friendly for his own good."</p><p>He waved off her apology, giving her an easy-going smile. "It's fine. No trouble at all."</p><p>A blond man joined the woman standing in front of him. He glanced down at the kid who was trying to become a permanent fixture on his legs and just raised one weirdly curled eyebrow in amusement. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. You seem to be stuck there."</p><p>Another man with a long nose came to a stop on the blond's other side. "Yeah, you need a hand?"</p><p>Ace just chuckled. "A leg or two would be better." The adults all had a good laugh at that joke, easily breaking any awkwardness that might've been between them.</p><p>Finally, the female in the group bent down to be eye level with the boy. "Okay Jack, you've bothered the nice man for long enough, let go." This seemed to only make the boy hold on tighter.</p><p>"No! I want hug!"</p><p>The girl cooed at the grumpy clinginess of the boy. "Aw sweetie, come here and I'll give you a hug!" She held her arms out wide.</p><p>"Uh-uh. Don't want your hug!" He buried his face into Ace's leg.</p><p>There was an annoyed huff from the woman. "Jack! That's enough! Let go!"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Ugh!" She gripped the child by the waist and began to tug on him.</p><p>The man with the curly eyebrows crossed his arms. "If you don't listen to Nami-san, no meat for dinner." The boy gave a frightened yelp and wrenched himself away like he'd suddenly caught fire. (Ace double-checked, nope, he hadn't actually burst into flames.)</p><p>The woman, Nami, gave a relieved grin as she picked the boy up. "Finally! See, that wasn't so hard." She turned to face him, her expression more polite. "We really are sorry about this."</p><p>Ace just grinned. "He's a nice kid."</p><p>Her shoulders slumped in relief. "Ah, thank you for not getting mad. You really are too kind." She turned her attention to the kid in her arms. "Alright Jack, say goodbye to the nice man!"</p><p>The reaction was violently unexpected, the toddler thrashing around frantically. "NO! I WANT PAPA!" He finally jerked hard enough that the woman, Nami, lost her grip on the kid who quickly took advantage of the opportunity and threw himself towards Ace. He instinctively caught Jack, not wanting the boy to get hurt, and shifted him into a better holding position. Ace just looked at the other pirates helplessly. What was he supposed to do?!</p><p>"Jack?" The boy in the overalls asked softly. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I don't want to leave Papa!" The poor kid seemed close to tears.</p><p>All the pirates glanced at one another, seeming just as confused as he felt. "Jack, that isn't your dad." The kid let out an angry shout and clung to him even harder. "Sweetie, that's not Daddy. Daddy went to look for food, remember?"</p><p>For some reason, that made the kid angry. "Papa!" Now he seemed ready to throw a fit.</p><p>"You know, now that I think about it, they do look kinda similar."</p><p>The blond just sighed shaking his head at the other male. "Doesn't mean that he'd mistake a stranger for his dad." Irritably, he turned towards the boy. "C'mon kid, what would your mother say?"</p><p>The teen in overalls glanced at the blond out of the corner of his eye, looking both disapproving and worried. "You really shouldn't call him that, Sanji. You know he hates it."</p><p>'<em>Him?</em>'</p><p>The blond, named Sanji apparently, scoffed, pulling out a cigarette. "Well, he gave birth to the kid, that makes him a mother."</p><p>Ah, so it's <em>that thing</em>.</p><p>Long nose guy just sighed and shook his head. "Keep on antagonizing our captain and you're going to get thrown into the ocean again." Ace huffed out a small laugh. So, this was their captain's son. Good to know they're not like, kidnappers or something. Still, the blond, Sanji, certainly deserved a dip in the sea. He was just asking for a fight, insulting his captain like that.</p><p>The fool just smirked as he flicked his lighter on. "Well, he can't hear me right now," the smirk was wiped off his face when the thing refused to light. "So I'll be fine."</p><p>"Hey, guys!"</p><p>
  <em>Luffy.</em>
</p><p>Sanji let out a terrified shriek and tossed his lighter in the air, the cigarette dropping into the sand. The panicked man whirled around and stared in horror at the person that had just spoken. "L-L-Luffy! When did you get back?!"</p><p>A blue-haired woman smiled at the others. "We just got here. I found Chopper and then he helped me track down Luffy in the shopping district."</p><p>The reindeer beside her spoke up. "It looks like someone beat us to it though."</p><p>"Shishishishi! Zoro found me!"</p><p>It seemed that Sanji had recovered from freak out from mere seconds earlier. "Tch. Figures that the Marimo would. You have to be lost to find something that is already missing."</p><p>Zoro tensed up from his position behind the captain. "Oi, what did you say Ero-Cook?" Within seconds the two were fighting.</p><p>Ace didn't hear any of this. His heart had started to race the moment he realized who had looked his brother over once, and then a second time. You know, for good measure. All in all, Luffy looked good. Perfect even. He was shaken out of his daze when Jack started bouncing in his arms, wiggling around in excitement. "Daddy, Daddy! Look who I found!"</p><p>Wait, what.</p><p>"Hey Jack, what is- ACE!" Ace didn't even have time to process anything else before Luffy had crossed the distance between them. The smaller male gently took the toddler from him, positioning the kid on his hip with practiced ease. Scarcely a second later, Ace found himself being pulled into a kiss. The revelation he'd just had was shoved to the back of his mind as he instead focused on the familiar feeling of Luffy's lips. 'Damn, I missed this.'</p><p>"Um, Luffy." The two were pulled out of their little moment by a voice. "Um, Luffy." Turning their heads towards where the interruption had come from it became apparent that the one named Usopp had spoken. "Why did you… who is he?"</p><p>"Oh yeah!" The rubber man perked having just remembered that introductions were a thing. "Guys, I'd like you to meet my brother, Ace! Ace, this is my crew, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, and Chopper! The blue-haired one is Vivi, we're helping her take back her country from a warlord!" He didn't even bat an eye at that last part. These kinds of things just happened around Luffy, so it wasn't even a surprise. He was just about to give his formal greeting to the crew when Luffy continued.</p><p>The younger male hefted the toddler higher up on his hip, gesturing to him with his free hand. "And this is your son, Jack!"</p><p>Ace just stared at the two in wide-eyed shock. The small boy gave him an enthusiastic wave. "Hi Papa!"</p><p>THUD</p><p>The Straw Hats just watched in concern as the man- who was apparently <em>Jack's father</em> and <em>Luffy's brother-</em> fell to the ground like a sack of bricks a split second after his brain had decided that this was too much, and it was time to shut down. The silence was interrupted by Jack. The young raven appeared to be concerned at what had just happened. "Is Papa okay?"</p><p>Their captain just laughed in the same carefree manner that he always did. "Shishishishi! Ace does this all the time!" They didn't even blame him. He had Luffy as both a brother and a lover, his brain probably broke <em>years</em> ago. "He'll be fine! He's just sleeping!" The rubber man's grin faltered the tiniest bit, confusion leaking into his expression. "It's just the narcolepsy thing," he nudged the unconscious male with his sandal. "I think."</p><p>Yeah, <em>that was reassuring</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you all liked it! It seems that a lot of these one shots will stem from this 'universe' where Jack comes along for the ride. Not all of them, but there are a handful so this'll be fun!</p><p>If you have any ideas, no matter how crazy, I'd love to hear them! Y'all have the absolute best scenarios in mind, I swear!</p><p>Till next time, I am WeAreTooDeepNow and there is no escape!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed the first part of both this Bonus Collection and this particular timeline! I  have a lot more planned for it and a whole bunch of other ideas in the works as well. (This will have both multi-shots and one-shots) Got a suggestion? Some random idea that makes you go 'Hey, that would be funny' or 'what if this happened?' Good! I want to hear them. Lmao, but seriously thanks for sticking with me through this story and continuing to follow this crazy author :D</p><p>Until next time, this is WeAreTooDeepNow signing off!</p><p>I'll see y'all again soon!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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